This was my professor’s feedback on the essay that needs to be incorporated and fixed:
In your thesis, please specify what “those influences” are. Additionally, be careful about claiming that the trend among employers and institutions currently is what made people relate IQ scores to personal capacity. While this may be influencing a resurgence in the beliefs about IQ scores, IQ first became a big deal in the 1900s and for a while all students were required to take IQ tests (originally meant as a way to test the likelihood of succeeding in academics) which quickly led to the belief that IQ score was a signifier for how smart and, therefore, capable a person was. Eventually, that belief began to decline some, though it never truly went away, and, as you point out, it is becoming popular again.
You may want to discuss the history of IQ scores and use this as a way to analyze why they are becoming popular again now.
Based on the body of your essay, you may wish to revise your thesis to be something along the lines of “Despite a resurgence in popularity, IQ scores are not a true indicator of a person’s intelligence or ability to succeed in life.” Most of your essay seems to be focusing more on this than on how attitudes and perspectives shape a person’s belief about their own intelligence.
Make sure that any time you make a major claim, you provide evidence to back it up. You have done this sometimes, but not always.
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